Is “My Husband’s Lover” really pro-gay?

“Bullied”, “stigmatized”, and “api” — these are just some words to describe how our gay brothers and sisters feel, perhaps because of discrimination and perceptions about how they dress or act.

my husbands lover

This is also probably why some people are happy with the airing of GMA’s teleserye, My Husband’s Lover, believing, “It’s about time this kind of show is on air.” Some people however, complain that the series promotes homosexuality. Looking at it, I see a deeper issue involved: “My Husband’s Lover promotes stereotypes of the “desperadong bading” (desperate gays), doing no favor to our gay brothers.

It adds to the stigma suffered by many people with homosexual attraction. Does this TV series make our gay brothers “proud” of how they are represented in this show? Do they really want to be perceived as being “mang-aagaw ng may asawa” (home-wreckers)? Doesn’t this show make them victims of stereotyping even more? In essence, the teleserye wants to show that gay people can’t be happy and successful on their own. A human person — gay, lesbian or hetereosexual — is not defined nor does he/she derive self-identity from sexual relationships or feelings. Let’s give our gay brothers their DIGNITY back. They deserve better.

But let’s go even deeper into the problem of media today. What do these shows promote?
– A Beautiful Affair
– No other Woman
– My Neighbor’s Wife?
– A Secret Affair
– The Mistress

infidelity culture

Do you find the pattern? Simply put, the common denominator is INFIDELITY — glorified adultery.

This brings me to why the MTRCB (Movie and Television Review and Classification Board) should be the first to call out “My Husband’s Lover.”

In case you don’t know, the vision of the MTRCB is to serve the Filipino public, not only through the review and classification of media, but also to be a “prime catalyst of change…recogniz(ing) TV and Movie Media as INDISPENSABLE TOOLS FOR MORAL RECOVERY AND NATION-BUILDING.” (Emphasis mine)

I hope and pray that these kinds of shows will no longer be patronized, seeing — bright as the sun — they do not build us up as human persons nor as a nation.

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5 thoughts on “Is “My Husband’s Lover” really pro-gay?

  1. “I hope and pray that these kinds of shows will no longer be patronized, seeing — bright as the sun — they do not build us up as human persons nor as a nation.”

    It is unfortunate that despite your good intentions, neither you nor I have a say in this matter. The media will always air or publish whatever they think is fit, as they please.

    They can’t produce TV shows like these without ad money, though.

    For my part, I’d go a step further and boycott whoever advertises during this show’s timeslot.

    • Being a youth minister,i think that one of our missions is to let our fellow youth “see” and be aware of life’s social realities-and my husbands lover shows one those social realities-i understand that the church has a strong “stand” regarding homosexuality which strongly believes in-but i also believe that the show does not promote homosexuality but rather a different form of love that transcends beyond boundaries and traditions- a reality that the church must see as a “challenge” and a way to reach out lgbt’s who are facing discrimination,self pity,and confusion.Accepting social reality wether we accept it not,is still ,something that divides people from the church-as a youth minister i would like people to feel that the church is more “understanding” rather than “judgemental”, “open” rather than “hipocrites”..”embracing” rather than “discriminating”-tinalikuran at hinamak na sila ng lipunan-pati ba naman ang simbahang larawan ni Kristo na bukod tanging masasandalan at maasahan pagsasaraduhan din sila ng pintuan?

      • I won’t argue with you, Norman, that these people need to be understood and cared for, too, like all people. You’ve also written that the Church has a negative stance towards the homosexual lifestyle.

        And yet the Church does not “bash” gays here, no matter how outspoken and bold they get.

        I’m a little confused about what you’ve just written, though. I’d like to ask you: do you, personally (and not the Church) believe engaging in homosexual acts is right or wrong? And why?

  2. Being a member of a Catholic community, I understand that being a homosexual is not a sin. As far as I know, what makes it “sinful” is when that person takes on an active “homosexual lifestyle’ if you know what i mean. I believe that the show creates social awareness with regards to what a homosexual person goes through. I watch the show not because I support extra marital affairs. I can say that I am able to understand more of these people and I think that is what matters. I just hope that as the show ends, the characters would be able to come up with sound decisions that are according to God’s plan.

    • It is actually a grey area — does media influence opinion or does opinion form media? In this case, I personally have not seen the ending of the show, so we suspend making judgments about what it will bring about. The Church position has been clear from the start and has never changed (though the same can’t be said about media coverage and public perception about it) that same sex attraction per se is not wrong or sinful. You’re right, it is when it is acted out, specifically homosexual sex acts that are unnatural and sinful.

      Personally, because my father is a psychologist and he has handled a lot of cases of homosexuals with depression (several of whom have HIV), I believe, if the media wants to depict a true to life experience of what it means to be gay, they should show that most if not all gay men were at one point, sexually abused which brought about a distortion of their sexual identity. This is debatable, but I think research has debunked the theory that homosexuality is linked to genetics. -Nirva, EIC

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