My sinful heart was able to survive in the last 2 months without confession; but…
This may sound small, but not being able to receive communion and experience the completeness of Mass bothered me so much in those 2 months.
I should not blame it to a bad confession I experienced before, but that experience troubled, hurt and prevented me to go to confession.
(I still remember how the Priest lectured me during my confession and left me feeling in despair.)
After that, I still believed that the good Lord was with me and could still feel His love and Mercy. But the incident had me questioning the ways Priests should accommodate confession.
When sin enters the human soul, it welcomes death and destruction
I know that confession is one of the many ways wherein God is reaching for our souls and helping us heal from our own sinful selves; and we as we age, so does our sins.
Every day I am bombarded with a lot of temptations that challenges my morality and Christianity, at work, at home and the community.
Often times, when I am in a situation where in my patience is tested, I fail. And that is where a lot of my sins root from.
As the Lenten season started and weeks passed, my sins kept on coming. I know that I have failed the good Lord, and I know it’s not as if God is losing hope in me; but His encouragement for me to seek Him in confession? I’ve been ignoring it with my unending reasons:
“I want a different Priest, Lord.”
“I fear being questioned and left feeling judged.”
“The Priest is my good friend.”
The Grace of Confession
Confession is not easy and that is one of its beauties! It’s hard. It takes a true Christian to face God and confess all the wrong doings we did in front of Him.
Confession is not for God, it’s for us to hear more of ourselves and experience his Mercy. And His Mercy was really there for me. The Lord directed me to people and talks that comforted me.
The Lord also comforted me during an intimate recollection encounter during the Holy week.
After finally confessing again – I think it was the most simple, complete and most beautiful confession I had too. I know and believe that the Mercy of God has truly healed me and is watching me, not to see if I will commit the same sins again, but to see how I win every temptation and battles.
Lent is not just experiencing the death and pains of our Lord, but it is through this season that God also wants us to experience his Mercy and Love.
This season, God want to know our deepest pains, sorrows and sins, because just like Easter, He will resurrect us and give us new life with Him. (Written by Berna Manipon)